SIT BACK AND SAVOUR
In this hustling world of today, I can't think of anything more satisfying than pouring a glass of quality whisky after a long and endlessly tiring day. Whether you like Speyside or Islay or other whiskies, just relax and enjoy all the different types of whisky. I’m partial to Scotch whisky. Noted celebrities, whether writers, actors or philosophers, all have enjoyed this glorious libation and praised it glowingly. I’ve put together a list of some witty, romantic and sensible attributes they have stressed re our beloved tipple. Here are some:
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whisky is barely enough.” – Mark Twain
“Never cry over spilt milk. It could’ve been whisky.” – Maverick
“I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whisky in the other.” – Ava Gardner
“What whisky will not cure, there is no cure for.” – Irish proverb
“Always carry a flagon of whisky in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.” – W.C. Fields
“There is no bad whisky. There are only some whiskies that aren’t as good as others.” – Raymond Chandler
“I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.” – Humphrey Bogart
“Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky,
and a dog to eat the rare steak.” – Johnny Carson
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. Steve Martin
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch.” ~ Anne Taintor
One good thing about rain in Scotland. Most of it ends up as scotch.” ~ Peter Alliss
Give me a scotch, I’m starving.” ~ Robert Downey, Jr.
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.” ~ W. C. Fields
There are two things a Highlander likes naked, and the other one is Malt Whisky” ~ R. H. Bruce Lockhart
“Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?” ~ Stephen Colbert
"My favourite drink: scotch and sofa"-Noel Moitra
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Headache? Have two pegs of scotch. Add an aspirin, if you so wish. Noel Moitra
“Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whisky makes it go round twice as fast.” – Compton MacKenzie
“My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.” – William Faulkner
“It is true that whisky improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.” – Robert Black
“Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whisky.” – Jarod Kintz
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”Mark Twain
“Give an Irishman lager for a month, and he’s a dead man. An Irishman is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whisky polishes the copper and is the saving of him.”
“My favourite drink is a cocktail of carrot juice and whisky. I am always drunk but I can see for miles.” – Roy 'Chubby' Brown
“Whisky making is an act of cooperation between the blessings of nature and the wisdom of man.” – Masataka Taketsuru
“When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.” – W. C. Fields
“When asked for my hangover cure, I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.” – Dean Martin
“Whisky is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold.” – Jerry Vale
“While I can't walk on water, I can certainly wobble on whisky.” – Ashwin Sanghi
“The second whisky is always my favourite. From the third on, it no longer has any taste. It's just something to pour into your stomach.” – Haruki Murakami
“Never delay kissing a pretty girl or opening a bottle of whisky.” E Hemingway
“I like my whisky old and my women young.”Errol Flynn
My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.” W Faulkner
“Seen through the gold of old Scotch, life seems more beautiful.” Pierre Souvestre
“I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink Scotch.” George Burns
“Ninety per cent I’ll spend on good times, women, and Irish Whiskey. The other ten per cent I’ll probably waste.” Tug McGraw
“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, ‘I’m thirsty, not dirty.’”Joe E. Lewis
“You can’t find the answers on the bottom of a whisky glass, but if you look hard enough you’ll forget the questions.” George Patterson
“I now drink healthy… Scotch and carrot juice. You get drunk as hell but you can still see good.” Dean Martin
“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” W. C. Stone
“My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.” Rodney Dangerfield
“Whisky has killed more men than bullets, but most men would rather be full of whisky than bullets.” Logan Pearsall Smith
“You know what southern women are? Whisky in a teacup. We’re strong in the inside, but ornate on the outside.” Hannah Brown
“You can die from drinking too much of anything – coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whisky.” W.C. Fields
“My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.” William Faulkner
“The true pioneer of civilisation is not the newspaper,
not religion, not the railroad — but whisky!”
“I always take Scotch whisky at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”
“Whisky is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.” Mark Twain
“The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” WC Fields
“My idea of working out is drinking whisky instead of beer.” Travis Fimmel
“Civilisation begins with distillation.” William Faulkner
“A drunkard is like a whisky bottle, all neck and belly and no head.” Austin O’Malley
“A good gulp of hot whisky at bedtime may not be very scientific, but it helps.” Alexander Fleming
“They say some of my stars drink whisky, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.” Casey Stengel
“Today’s rain is tomorrow’s whisky.” Scottish proverb
“What whisky will not cure, there is no cure for.” Irish proverb
“Always drink your whisky with your gun hand, to show your friendly intentions.” Bill Hickok
“Whisky, when you’re sick, makes you well.” Irish proverb
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if the women don’t get you then the whisky must.” Carl Sandburg
“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” H. L. Mencken
“You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whisky.” Bill Murray
“Drink whisky with the owls at night to soar with the eagles the next day.” Noel Moitra
“I would have preferred whisky. There’s nothing like its bold flavour and strong nose to remind you that you’re alive.” Melanie A. Smith
“I like girls who drink whisky and tell good stories.” Atticus, Canadian poet
“Whisky girls are the good kind of bad news.” Conny Cernik
“Whisky making is an act of cooperation between the blessings of nature and the wisdom of man.” Masataka Taketsuru
“Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whisky.” Jarod Kintz
“Whisky toasts, boasts and cheers.” Noel Moitra
“Here’s to the best key for unlocking friendship—whisky.”
to whisky, good old scotch,
Amber, smooth, and clear;
It’s not as sweet as a woman’s lips,
But a damn sight more sincere.” Anonymous
“The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.” James Joyce, Dubliners
“I drank whisky because I was depressed, and whisky made sure I stayed depressed.” Donald Hall
Giving money and power to the government is like giving whisky and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke
As they say in Texas, if you can't drink their whisky, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office. Molly Ivins
Drown in a cold vat of whisky? Death, where is thy sting? W. C. Fields
Do you understand water in the West? Whisky's for drinking; water's for fightin' over. Paul Gosar
It’s always happy hour when you have a glass of whisky.
Go on an adventure with just a glass of whisky.
A whisky in hand makes one feel like the most powerful person in the room.
Cheers to the troubles that a glass of whisky can help us forget.
To some, it’s simply a glass of whisky. To me, it’s a taste of heaven.
Whisky soothes the soul.
You don’t really need a reason to pour yourself a glass of whisky.
Momentous occasion calls for whisky.
Whisky is key in making a night feel like a party.
Whisky is life’s treasure.
I have a love affair with whisky.
Is it really a party if the whisky isn’t out yet?
An old-fashioned whisky never gets old.
Wish you were whisky, coz whisky makes everybody happy.
your head cool and your feet warm,
And a glass of good whisky will do you no harm.” Anonymous
the rough and the smooth, to drinking with prudes,
to loosen their thighs, with whisky and rye!”
to steak when you’re hungry,
whisky when you’re dry,
all the girls you ever want,
and heaven when you die.”
“Son, when I was your age there was no social media. You had to go to a bar and buy endless drinks to be ignored by multiple women.”
“Dear Scotch, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer… I saw the video… we need to talk.”
“Hey bartender, I need a Scotch. I’ve got way too much blood in my alcohol system.”
Me: “I love you.”
You: "Is that you or the whisky talking?
Me: “It’s me talking to the wine.”
“How do you know if someone likes Single Malt? Don’t worry they’ll tell you.” Noel Moitra
“One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of Scotch by three hours, and a workday – eight hours.”
I’m giving up drinking until Christmas!
Oops! Bad punctuation.
I’m giving up, drinking until Christmas!
“An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar…Just kidding, they know better.”
“I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That’s it. No more reading!”
“I feel sorry for wild animals because it’s like they’re always camping without beer.”
“A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.”
“Scotch is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.”
WHISKY ISN’T IN QUESTION
WHISKY IS THE QUESTION